February 2012
41 posts
the rest of forever starts today :)
so after last nights dramas, i feel very…content :) things have semi sorted themselves out in my life, sure the fact that the guy i thought i loved never actually understood me, thought my insecurities were stupid and that my past shouldn’t effect me now, things like that. the fact he said those things made me realise how little he ever understood me, although that explains a lot, it...
fuck it all.
seriously. fuck it all. screw being nice and caring and doing whats right, because you know what! life ain’t fair at all! i tried so hard to be nice and understanding while still keeping what i believe in and doing the right thing, but why the hell should i do that when all he is going to do is fucking emotionally blackmail! i spent too long of my life being emotionally blackmailed and...
out of sync.
i feel like i’m auto-pilot. that my insides are too stuffed to tell my body what the hell to do. my brain feels like its at war with its self, fighting over every little detail and unable to settle. my heart is cracking with every thought of him, every memory. my body feels like its moving on its own, just going with the flow and out of sync with the rest of the world. what feels like days...
Had a really amazing day and night! Wishing every day left me feeling like this before going to sleep :)
someone: I love you
me: why
deep breaths.
January 2012
136 posts
